Slow it down, guys

It isn’t that I dislike freshmen.  It really isn’t.  I can understand the feeling of being new in high school, considering the fact that I entered Rockhurst without knowing a single soul.  I can give freshmen some leeway because of their youth.

Every time I walk into the parking lot, I see their parents dropping them off or picking them up.  Occasionally, the parents will greet their tiny child with a smile and move to the passenger seat, allowing the freshman to drive.  Every time this happens, I nostalgically think “Aw, how cute”.

But that all happens in the parking lot.  Inside the walls of Rockhurst, things are different.  Upon the electronic sounding of the lunch bell, the cuteness vanishes.

When the clock strikes 11:25, I depart my fourth hour class and head towards the journalism lab for fifth hour.  Along the way, I encounter an army of freshman sprinters, hordes of primal youth, with only one thing on their minds: food.

I get a smile on my face every time I think about grabbing the smallest one I see, spinning him around to where he is facing me, and asking him what his psychological motivation is for such behavior.  Instead, I settled for writing a newspaper story.  So, why exactly does this happen?

Of the seventeen freshmen with whom I spoke, fourteen of them said they ran because they were hungry and the lines were long.  This includes the ones that bring their lunch every day.  Go figure.

Some students had a more perplexed response to the freshmen’s scurrying.

“The food is going to be there no matter what,” junior Conor Riggs said.  “I see no point in running to lunch.”

Seniors, however, care about hunger and long lines a whole lot less.

“I ran to lunch as a freshman.  I would never do it now though,” senior Bryce Kolkoski said.  “I walk slightly faster on burrito days, and that’s pushing it.”

Seniors seem to have a consensus on their speed – or lack thereof – whilst headed towards the lunchroom.  The Class of 2012 saunters toward the cafeteria apathetically, although it appears that none of the seniors can determine an adequate rationale for their dawdling.

“Because senior year, bro!” senior Aaron Jenkins exclaimed, as several others cheered in the background.

This is a phenomenon that Mr. Tom Norman has noticed as well.  Every day, he walks by the Pesci Atrium and watches the freshmen faction pile towards the feeding ground.

“I’m absolutely scared to death, literally,” Mr. Norman said.  “I’m afraid I’ll break a hip.”

In lieu of this psychological trend, I offer some advice to freshmen as a whole.  I know you want to act older than you are, I have been there.  Your senior overlords do not sprint to the cafeteria as your class tends to do.  If you truly want to behave older than you are, refrain from running.  Besides, some of your own classmates disapprove as well.

“Yeah, [the runners] are weird,” freshman Jordan Evans said.

The teachers have noticed, the seniors have noticed, and some underclassmen have noticed.  Stop it.

Tags freshmen lunch running