It was the one of the only times I was intentionally trying to look like a homeless person. My options were limited because, let’s be honest, I have really nice clothes. I ended up just jumping in the trash can and calling it a day, but what event do I speak of? Well, as everyone was looking fresh and celebrating their mamas (Sorry mama, still love you!) I was wanting to rip my ears off at Ke$ha’s wonderful Get $leazy concert, which she should rename “I’m $leazy”. When I thought I had three tickets, I only had one, that I bought on my dad’s credit card. Worth 100? I don’t think so.
To start of the night was biggest atrocity to ever hit my ears, and I’ve heard Armageddon Theory. Little to no one in our Rockhurst community likes Ke$ha’s club-banger hits (or will admit it), but her opening act was heinous. His name? Beardo the Trailer Park Hero. And you thought KeDollarSignHa was less than classy. As Beardo came out onto the stage in his pink striped pants and no shirt on, the crowds face reached a consensus: who is this guy? Among the songs Beardo was singing were the ever classic Alien Man and American Anthem, which are basically interchangeable. He’ll scream during the chorus and lyrics consist of him talking about his unfortunate reputation as a loser and his glock, oh and partying! My own relief came when he asked the crowd to sing along and everyone fell silent. After my ear drums were done bleeding and six unfortunate songs later, the girl we were waiting for all came out.
Unfortunately, her act was less than amazing. To be fair, I did go to the Monster Ball, so my standards were high. Additionally, its Ke$ha, so I wasn’t expecting a master piece. She opened with one of her newest songs, Sleazy. It was not a good way to start out the concert, half the crowd knew the song verbatim and the other half (me included) didn’t know what was going on. It slowly progressed as she played some of her better songs. “Blow”, the song I have tortured my staff members with, was actually amazing. Amazingly for Ke$ha, the concert actually sounded like her.
However, the most disappointing song was the smash hit “Take it Off”. For some reason she decided to put the autotune up to its max setting and she sounded like a tracheotomy patient. Next on my list of most disappointing songs is “Animal”. Animal is one of my favorite songs ever because it carries such a sincere message. The opening lyrics are “I am in love with what we are, not what we should be” but it was ruined by Ke$ha’s lack of singing talent. Waiting for a really grotesque moment in the concert? Mrs. Dollar Sign needed a volunteer to perform her song “Grow a Pair” so she called up some random crowd member and strapped him to a chair. What ensued was some inappropriate fondling and, I kid you not, a rather large phallus and large green pear dancing. (Pear/Pair, get it?)
After “Your Love is my Drug” and “Blah Blah Blah”, which were less than enjoyable, Ke$ha announced that she would be performing her last song! “Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy” came out of the crowds mouth collectively. Finally, I was free. Oh wait, she came out for an encore. Ke$ha ended the night with “We R Who We R”. Although the song is a great club-banger, it didn’t compare to “Born this Way” by Lady GaGa, which was stuck in my head at this point. All in all it was the least bit enjoyable and I shouldn’t have paid 100 dollars for a ticket, but I’m in love alright-a-a-ight with my crazy, beautiful life (that’s an awkward Ke$ha reference..)
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Very thought provoking